Drabble Eight
Natsuki glanced over her shoulder at the redhead skulking behind her. Nao had insisted she take the lead as they stepped onto school grounds but she hadn't really expected anything different from her. She had appeared to have changed over the years though, in appearance and personality. She seemed far more resigned now, though resigned to what she wasn't sure. It seemed time had taken its toll on Nao; on her spirit and on her body. She still had a youthful appearance but Natsuki could see the experience in her movements now, something that told her the other woman had been through things she'd rather not know about.
She shook the thoughts away and forced herself to look forwards once more. Now wasn't the time to become reflective or to worry about Nao Yuuki. Is there ever a time to worry about her? She inwardly questioning, realising time didn't heal all wounds. Even though she'd saved Nao from Shizuru's wrath all those years ago, she wasn't quite at the point where she could forgive her for what the redhead had done to her. They hadn't had closure when it came to that matter and she wasn't sure she even wanted to anymore. She felt her brow furrow as an old anger swirled in her gut, fuelling each step she took inside the darkened school building.
The gloominess of her surroundings wasn't helping Natsuki's mood one iota and the fact that Nao was muttering away to herself didn't do much either. She caught parts of complaints of the state of the building but had tuned out the comments some time ago. She peered up the length of the corridor, making out a set of stairs at the far end of it. She wondered where exactly they were heading and she had a vague idea that the science labs were that way. Did she even want to go there? Where was she going? Why were they even in here? The questions didn't appear to have any immediate answers.
"Oi, Kuga."
Natsuki paused and turned to look at her unlikely companion. "Mm?"
"Your hearing starting to go in your old age or something?" Nao mumbled.
She narrowed her eyes and suppressed the growl that threatened to rise in her throat. The other woman had always had a way of getting under her skin so easily, even with a stupid remark like that. "What do you want?" she forced through clenched teeth.
"I asked if you knew where we were going," she said with a slight wave of her hand.
Natsuki let out a small sigh, regaining her composure quickly. "Not really. I have no idea what we're looking for in here."
Nao shrugged. "Something out of the ordinary?" she paused and snorted. "Not that anything was quite normal around here."
Natsuki nodded in agreement. She was right about that. Any sense of normality this place held was shattered the day she was approached by Nagi. She wasn't even sure it had a shred of normalcy before then now that she thought about it. Her life had been anything but the status quo.
"I have an idea," Nao cut into Natsuki's thoughts.
Raising her eyebrows questioningly, Natsuki gestured for the other woman to continue.
"Lets pay a visit to one of our old acquaintances' residence, shall we?" Nao's eyes sparkled as she spoke, making Natsuki wonder what exactly was going on behind them.
END OF DRABBLE
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5 comments:
Nice drabbles, can't wait for the next one.
I've also read the Halloween special (a year to finish? lol) and likewise - good plot. however, you have some punctuation errors (in both).
A year and a half actually. Actually it took me two days to write in total, but I think that's better than not finishing at all, eh?
"punctuation errors"..? *blinks* I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, but that sounds a bit... I don't know... petty? There's grammatical errors and typos in there too but I'm well aware of the fact that I'm not perfect and I'm going to get things wrong. (Besides, I can't think where these errors you say might be - want to be more specific now you've pointed them out? Perhaps I've been doing something wrong all these years. :o )
However, if you want to comment on some aspect of the characterisation or whatnot as the balancing statement to "good plot", that's perfectly fine.
*blinks aswell* Criticism is fine. When it's constructive. A blatant insult like that, no matter how well meant is just rude. You need to work on your people skills Divine. As for punctuation... look at your username, you do realise names start with capitals right? (See, do you like it?)
@ divine:
I'm guessing you're "Josephine007" on fanfiction.net, correct?
In your profile on that site, you've written "English is my second language (which means I’m looking for a beta)."
To be honest, you have no right to criticise this and especially to say that there are "punctuation errors" since you cannot even form properly structured sentences in your comment.
I do understand that English is your second language and I'm not taking a hit at that, but, if you are still studying it and are even unsure about your own writing in English, on what grounds are you making these criticisms? They are not constructive either, so even if you had "good" intentions, you're being rather rude and would have been better off as a lurker.
"I've also read the Halloween special (a year to finish? lol) and likewise - good plot."
That was a title, so... both parts should be capitalised. Hence, "Halloween Special".
Also, "a year to finish? lol" is very rude. She had her reasons for not finishing it as fast as you would have liked and she was not obligated to finish it at all. Additionally, that "lol" is more offensive than friendly; it is as if you're making fun of how long it took to finish in the sense that you could have finished it faster and you know what? If you feel like poking fun at how long it took her to finish it, why didn't you ask her to use her story and finish it yourself?
What does "and likewise - good plot" mean in that sentence? Also, placing that hyphen there is incorrect punctuation. Please clarify. Thanks.
"however, you have some punctuation errors (in both)."
You're starting a new sentence, capitalise "however". Also, "in both" did not need to be in parenthesis.
Before you criticise someone's use of punctuation, check your own first.
(And if I do have any punctuation errors in this comment, I do apologise as I did not have anyone read it over for me.)
@ divine:
Due to the previous poster pointing it out, I decided to have a look at your story myself. I was going to leave a review on it but I decided against it. I'm even more confused as to your punctuation statement now, due to the poor grammar and punctuation you use. I can only assume you've not completed your English classes, or were just taught by a poor teacher. I feel like I'm making a bigger deal out of this than necessary but I suppose it bruises my pride somewhat to be criticised by someone ten years my junior, who clearly doesn't have an equal grasp of the English language.
And, yes, I've gone over my writing and the punctuation is perfectly fine. I'm beginning to regret coming back to the fandom now. >.<
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